To Save Her
by Goddess Usagi
Summary: Usagi always believed in love, but a certain crush forces her to give in now a year and a half later the same crush is back, and he’s determined to prove to her that the life she's living is totally wrong. Will he save her? Sequel coming soon
1. The Big Change

**To Save Her**

Chapter 1: The Big Change

Usagi lay in bed, she couldn't sleep for once in her life; it was 3am and one sentence kept replaying itself over, and over in her head.

"_Love doesn't exist Usagi, you can dream and dream but all those dreams are never going to come true. Love doesn't exist." _

In that one instant all of Usagi's beliefs had been shattered, the man she loved had told her that love didn't exist. _And he's right._ She admitted bitterly to herself, _Love doesn't exist; it's just a delusion, part of the imagination. You've never had a boyfriend, all your crushes are duds; yup, it's pretty certain. Love does NOT exist._

_So, what am I going to do? _Usagi wondered, _I can't continue this way, I keep getting hurt… There's only one thing I can do, I have to harden my heart, I have to stop feeling. I'll just be. No more innocent, naïve Usagi; from now on I'm a new person, from now on there is no love, no dreams, no hope. _

Usagi leaned over to her bedside table and turned on the lamp; she stood and moved toward the mirror. Her hands reached up to her odangos and she pulled them lose; first taking out the hair elastics, then the bobby pins holding them in place. The pale girl shook her hair loose, then, shaking, picked up a pair of scissors (left over from an art project) that were lying on the table.

Usagi took a deep breath, pulling together all her resolve, and raised the scissors to her hair, let the breath out, and cut. A piece of blonde hair, pale by moonlight, fell to the ground, abandoned, but soon to be followed by more.

Each piece of hair hardened Usagi's resolve, she would never let a man get that close to her again, she no longer believed in love. The naïve Usagi was of the past, this Usagi would be the future.

---

Usagi's hair was now a little longer than shoulder-length, and layered around the face (**A/N:** Let's just forget about her fringe, shall we?), styled professionally. She had been to see a hairdresser that morning, after waking up early (and shocking her mother into a faint), and making her way to Mina's hairdresser.

And now she was on her way to the Crown Arcade, not for a chocolate milkshake, but for something resembling healthy food. Usagi was dressed in a mini-skirt and a top showing a lot of cleavage; guys were staring as she walked past, and, unlike usual, she was giving them flirtatious looks back.

The revamped teenager walked around a corner, and saw the Crown just ahead, her pace slowed as she saw the one person that had changed her.

"Mamoru…" Usagi breathed, slouching, then quickly straightening, tightening her will. He was not going to stop her, he would not hurt her anymore.

---

Mamoru was walking, as per usual, to the Crown Arcade for his morning coffee. He knew that Usagi wouldn't be here, _Yeah, its too early for her to be up, even if it is 11:00. _He snickered internally.

The college guy in the horrible green jacket looked up from the pavement in front of him, and found the most beautifully sexy girl he had ever seen in his life. For the first time in his life, Mamoru felt like doing that obnoxious whistle that player guys are famous for. She was blonde, with legs up to _here_, and the most amazing chest he had ever seen.

The resemblance to Usagi didn't even occur to him.

---

It wasnow a year and a half after Usagi's miraculous change, but it hadn't been a change for the better. She had ditched her old friends, and started hanging out with The Group, you know the one I mean.

Mini-skirts, and mini-tops had become her clothes of choice; she'd had 5 "boyfriends" in the last 2 weeks. And her so-called-friends, well, they were all trying to be here. That's right ladies and gentlemen, Usagi had become The Popular Girl. Her sexual encounters were rumoured right around the school, and all the jocks knew exactly what she was like in bed.

Gone was the old Usagi, this Usagi did everything you ever bitched about, and got away with it. She was the ultimate popular girl, and the ultimate slut, with everything entailed in those descriptions.

She felt nothing however, each guy just left her falling further, pulling her further away from the girl she used to be. Rei, Mina, Ami and Mako watched sadly, knowing there was no way they could save the girl they once considered their closest, warmest friend, the one who would always be there.

There was only one person who could save Usagi, and he approved of her change.

!&!&!

**_Welcome to my new SM fic, obviously its AU, and its going to have pretty adult/older teenaged terms/storyline. All i'm saying is, it isn't going to get much better for Usagi... Tell me what you think!_**

**_Love Goddess_**


	2. More Changes

Hello all, now this is where the story starts getting a bit more adult, there is a very good reason why this is R, so if you're not old enough to read this, or can't handle what's being said, then i suggest you go back to one of my more resonable fics. This fic is rather dark and isn't the usual fairytale.

With that done, thank you to my reviewers! I hope this chapter is up to standard. Usagi and Mamoru will probably meet next chapter, so enjoy this for now.. its here to show you what Usa has become.

Love Goddess!

**2: Changes**

Mamoru had spent the last year and a half travelling; he'd been sent a letter from a very prestigious university in America, and had decided to check it out. But that, of course, had lead to him wanting to see more, first of America, then Canada, then Europe.

Motoki, as usual, had been looking after Mamoru's things, and was eagerly awaiting the return of his best friend.

_I wonder what his reactions going to be when he meets the new Usagi… She's definitely not the person she was when he left; and if he thinks she's going to tolerate his bullshit, well he's sadly mistaken. _Motoki was pensive today, there were very few customers, and he'd already cleaned the place to perfection.

_I remember the first day she came back here, after a week away…_

Flashback

Usagi walked into the Crown, startling the whole room, none of them recognized her; and that's just the way she'd wanted it. The new Usagi walked with a confidence, flaunting her body. Nothing affected her, she was as cool and calm as humanly possible, and sometimes more than humanly possible.

Her heart was ice, not even the usual teasings and tauntings of Mamoru affected her, at least, not for the first few days. Then he had disappeared without a word. And Usagi's confidence skyrocketed, she became even more of a skank.

Usagi's old wardrobe was gone, the cute tops and skirts replaced with mini-skirts so mini that they looked like belts, and tops about 2 sizes too small. But of course, she could get away with it. Gone was her characteristic clumsiness, her sweet innocent charm, her care for her friends. It was all about Usagi now.

On that fateful day, the doors to the Crown had opened, revealing the most stunning blonde anyone had ever seen. They all turned to stare, the guys undressing her with their eyes (not that there was much to take off) and the girls glaring in envy. She had walked towards the bar and ordered a salad sandwich, sitting down as she spoke. Her skirt rode up ever so slightly, and all the men in the arcade gasped. She had the legs of an angel, perfectly tanned and rounded, not a flaw could be seen.

This girl ate delicately, taking only a few bites of her now delivered sandwich, before stopping to look around. Motoki took in her face more carefully, there had been something familiar there, and he had no idea what.

Motoki looked closer, the girl was wearing just enough make-up, in the less-is-more style, giving her a very natural look. He tried to look past the make-up, and then it came to him-

"Usagi?!" Motoki gaped, staring at the girl in front of him.

"Yes, Motoki?" She had asked calmly, "Something wrong?" Her voice was no longer the sweet, childlike voice it had been a little over a week ago. This voice was sultry, sexy, and intimidated every man in the room. They were all now imagining her in bed, and that barely helped matters.

Motoki himself had noticed a bulge occurring in the lower region of his body, and it was distracting him something terrible, "When did you.. my god Usagi!" He was completely and utterly stunned. The girl he had thought of as a little sister had become the woman of his dreams.

"hmm, Usagi.." She thought out loud, "Sounds a little too much like a little girls name, call me Serena. It seems so much more… sexy," she said finally, drawing the last word out.

Motoki choked, if only he could take her into the back room and.. well that was enough of that. "What happened?!" He demanded, trying desperately to control himself.

"I decided that I was sick of trying to be someone I'm not, like the real me?" Serena was cold, direct, not leaving anything to the imagination.

"I-i-wow.." Motoki was shocked out of his mind, of all the people!

"Want to see more?" She asked, her voice becoming even more sultry, and each man in the room knew exactly what she was offering, and wanted to be Motoki.

"I-I-yes!" he shouted, losing control of his hormones.

"Why don't we go to that little room out the back then, I'll show you anything you want."

End Flashback

Motoki smiled in remembrance, that had been a very good day! But anyway, Serena's reputation had stemmed from that day, and nobody ever thought back to Usagi anymore; she was Serena, and that was the way she was always going to be, or at least, until somebody showed her there was more to life than sex and drugs.

----

At Rei's

Rei, Mina, Mako and Ami were all gathered at Rei's house, once again studying for their high school entrance exams. Their little group hadn't been the same since Usagi became Serena. She never spoke to them anymore, acting as though they didn't exist. It was as though their whole friendship had vanished overnight.

The study sessions had become boring and lifeless, with no Usagi to make little jokes about the work.

They all missed her terribly, but there was no way for them to save her. That task was for another, another who would be home very, very soon. The one who had caused all this in the first place.


	3. Nightclubs and Old Enemies

Hey all, here's another chapter, this stories just rolling off my fingers today! And i'm definately loving whats coming out, what about you guys?

Thanks to: Roxy Bunny, CrystalBlue89, Koldy, Devil Velociraptor, Forever Tranquility, Shortie630, MoonPrincess568, Tenshi Bunny, and Lara 1786 - for all your wonderful reviews!

CrystalBlue89: I just always thought that she was a bit too good, if you know what i mean ;)

Shortie630 and Forever Tranquility: Mamoru's going to be shocked as when he finds out who she is.. it shall be great! cackles oh yeah, Motoki and Usagi love their fooling around...

**3: Nightclubs and old enemies**

Serena lay on the carpeted in her changed bedroom, she had taken everything that had reminded her of her old life, and burnt it. This room was now a dark blue, with none of the clutter that her old room had possessed. The carpet she was lying on was now cream and her bed had become a sleigh bed.

Serena looked up at the midnight blue roof, thinking about the past year and a half. It had been the most wild, invigorating time of her life, starting with Motoki of course. The crush she had always had on him had turned into something much more enjoyable, and her newfound confidence had given her a way to achieve everything she'd always wanted.

Serena was now a legend, her exploits told constantly around school (when she and her friends were actually there), and her reputation known right throughout Juuban. Tonight she would be going with her friends to a nightclub, over eighteens only of course.

Serena laughed, they'd been going to the same nightclub ever since Serena had met them, and had never had a problem with ID. It was ridiculously easy how they got in.

The fact was that the last year had been great fun for Usagi, she'd finally realised that there was more to life than silly ambitions, such as love, and put her time to better use.

"Yeah, like fucking Motoki!" Serena laughed out loud again, as her friends put it, she and Motoki were "fuck-buddies". A term which described their relationship perfectly; one of them wanted it, and the other one gave it.

Serena sighed, it had been hard, giving everything up like that, but she'd rebounded, and she was having the time of her life. Drugs and sex were just so amazing, that they forced out any longing she'd had for her old life.

The misguided teen stood and went to her cream painted wardrobe, looking through for clothes appropriate for tonight's adventure. She finally settled upon a boob-tube top, blue in colour and design, and a denim "skirt", or what most people would call a belt. To finish off her ensemble, she threw on a necklace and a pair of silver hoops, and a pair of thongs. Good thing it was summer, or she would've become a human popsicle.

Yuki and Hikaru, her two sycophants would be showing up soon, along with Motoki, so Serena began preparing further, making sure she had her clutch, complete with wallet, keys, and condoms. The three of them knew exactly what they were going to gain out of tonight, a hot guy.

---

Mamoru found himself, on his first night back in Juuban, in a local nightclub, one he and Motoki had frequented every second night before Mamoru had gone gallivanting around the world.

But tonight he was here by himself, or at least until Motoki showed with some mysterious girl. The music was loud, with a heavy beat, and the participants on the dance floor were all practically having sex with their clothes on, some of them even managing while they were dancing.

Yeah, it was a typical nightclub, and Mamoru was getting edgy. Deciding that it was time to get out on the dance floor, he placed the drink he had been nursing on the table and stood, moving towards the floor.

----

"Well finally!" Serena cried, as Motoki's car drove up, "What took you so long?!"

"'Karu was a bit busy when we showed," Yuki informed her, "Get in."

"Hikaru, please tell me it wasn't Jiro again! Seriously, every time you guys do it, things just become more fucked up than they already were," Serena chided, laughing slightly, "You two should be more like Motoki and me."

Hikaru blushed; she was the typical Japanese girl, dark straight hair, oriental eyes, and a rounded face. All those features added to the exotic look she was given with the clothes she was wearing. They were a lot like Serena's in style, but red in colour, suiting her dark hair.

Yuki was more like Rei, with long, also dark, hair, and a pale complexion, but her eyes were blue, and her face was more angular. She was wearing an emerald green halter top, and a pleated skirt, slightly like her school skirt, except much, much shorter.

The sports car quickly made its way to their destination, and the three girls and Motoki got out. As per usual they had no problems getting into the club, and Motoki left to go get them drinks.

"I'm going to go dance, guys, join me if you want," Serena strode onto the familiar dance floor, sidling up to a couple of hot guys.

"Hey, fellas, wanna dance?" She asked, her sexy voice entranced them, and they quickly agreed.

Letting the music guide her, Serena danced to the beat, her moves giving the permission for the guys to do as they wanted with her on the floor. As all guys did with this goddess, they took it as far as they could before she reprimanded them slightly:

"Now boys, not right here, but maybe later?"

They grinned, she was exactly the type they wanted; and they were exactly the type she was after.

"I'll be back in a minute, alright guys?" Serena quickly danced off, moving to another side of the dance floor, fully intending to come back to them before she left.

Ahead of her there was a dark male, not dancing to his full potential on the floor, he had jet black hair, and, from what she could see, an incredibly built body. _I wonder what he's like in bed, _she smirked, _and I bet he's pretty good, let's just find out shall we…_

---

Mamoru had been dancing for the last half-hour, and pretty half heartedly at that, there was no one interesting here just yet. He turned and looked behind him, _Ah-ha! That blonde looks good, lets just see if she's after what I'm after…_

He made his way over, lucky for him she was already going his way, and apparently going for him.

"Want to dance?" the blonde asked, her hips moving slightly as she spoke, and her voice, it reminded him of someone he had known a long time ago.

"Definitely," Mamoru said, in his most sexy voice, leading her deeper into the crowd. This blonde was definitely worth his time, "What's your name?" he asked, beginning to grin his hips against hers.

"It's Serena," She said, running her hands against his arm, "What about you?"

"Darien," He said after a minute, putting his arms around her waist, running them down her back. It was definitely better not to give a real name in this place, who knows who you could meet?

Who knows who you'll meet, indeed…


	4. Getting to Know You Better

**YO ALL! Im BAAAAAAACK! I am so so SO very sorry about this! I know its short, and i know its a teaser, and i know its been forever since i've posted, but things have been so so so hectic lately and i've barely had a chance to breathe! So i'll say im sorry one more time then you can go ahead and read!**

**IM SORRY!**

**4: Getting to know you better…**

Motoki had let the girls out of his sight for only a few minutes, but when he returned, the sight he was treated to shocked him so completely and thoroughly that he couldn't move his legs.

Usagi and Mamoru were…were, dancing! _Hang on a minute, this can't be right. Unless…_ Motoki snickered, _Yup, they're using alter ego's and neither has any idea who the other is… I think I'll watch and see what Serena does to him. _Motoki's grin was pure evil, and that was exactly what Mamoru was in for.

Serena and "Darien" had been dancing for about 15 minutes when Serena decided she wanted a _touch _more excitement. Her eyes glinted, and Mamoru caught up on the vibe she was now emitting. Though, it could have just been his imagination or hormones of course.

Silently Mamoru led Serena outside, and around the block, into a close alley; this alley was frequently used by patrons of the nightclub for making out.

Serena leaned against the brick wall of the alley, smiling slightly. Mamoru took this as an invitation, leaning in for a kiss. To start it was just a quick kiss, but Serena deepened it, running her hands along "Darien's" back. Mamoru smirked and pulled her closer, exploring Serena's soft, warm mouth, as well as her well rounded breasts.

Serena was being pushed up against the wall by Mamoru, her short skirt riding up even further, a fact which he took great delight in. "Coming back to my place then?" he asked in a husky voice.

She just nodded, and allowed herself to be led 3 blocks away and into a large apartment building and up into the penthouse. There was silence as he led her into his barely furnished apartment, and then into the bedroom…

At the Club:  
Motoki looked around again for Serena and Mamoru about 15 minutes later, and saw they were no where to be found. Not on the dance floor, having a drink or in one of the dark secluded spots that the club was famous for.

He snickered. _Sooooomebodies getting lucky tonight! With their worst enemy!_ Motoki was full out laughing now. _Serves him right!_


	5. Monday Morning

**5: Monday Morning**

Serena opened her eyes slowly, taking in her surroundings; she pushed Darien's arm off her (he was fast asleep) and slid out from underneath the bedcovers. Serena had no need to panic, she'd done this countless times before, but something was different this time… something was telling her not to go, that this was all too perfect. Serena shook her head, pulled on her clothes, picked up her shoes and bag, pushed open the bedroom door, snuck through the apartment, and left.

It was still the middle of the night, meaning she had plenty of time to get home, her parents thought she was sleeping over at Hikaru's place with Yuki. Serena let out a small chuckle, her parents would have a heart attack if they knew what she was _really_ doing while at these "sleepovers".

Making her way home, Serena allowed herself flashbacks of the rest of the night: the dancing, the alley, the sex. _Good god! The sex! It was amazing! I thought for someone so handsome he'd surely have an ego larger than anything down there! Boy was I wrong!_ She chuckled again, turning into her own street.

Serena went to the tree which was right by her balcony, climbed it, and let herself into her room, lying down on the bed. Man, was she exhausted!

* * *

The next day, unfortunately, was a school day, luckily for Serena though, she hadn't ended up at the same high school as her old friends. They'd all nearly screamed when she'd changed her look, and Mina had actually screamed, though not in a good way.

School was a place of gossip for Serena, she was the Queen Bee there, she controlled everything and everyone, from the juniors to the teachers. Everyone respected her control and did all they could to help, yes, Serena was in her element, and was _not_ going to let it go anytime soon.

_Now this is what I was born for! _Serena revelled, _No more little miss loser for me! Hah, how naïve I was! Hmm, I thought I heard someone mention a new teacher… wonder who it is…_

The bell rang and Serena made her way to homeroom, she opened the door and looked in, then quickly closed it again. _No. WAY!_ She screamed inside her head, _No, FUCKING WAY! This is definitely not good… 'cause if he's my teacher… oh GOD!_

But it was him, the one she dreaded seeing again, another one of her one night stands, though one more recently than others. And there was something about him that reminded her of someone she used to know… _He'd better notice me, imagine how detentions could be? Ah another teacher wrapped around my finger.._

Serena took in a deep breath, making sure her chest was pushed out, opened the door again and walked in. Her cerulean eyes met with his sapphire ones and held, showing him all her courage and "disinterest". His eyes widened, and she smiled, moving to her seat. This was going to be a very interesting school day!

* * *

**_Hey, i know its another small chapter, but im trying to get started again.. don't worry! I have a plot all lined up! Its great! I bet you can all figure out who the teacher is! Cookie for the first one to tell me:P Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to review! I'm loving all the ones i've had so far! _**

**_They'll all find out who's who in all due course alrighty? Right now its crucial that they dont know! And it makes it all the more enjoyable!_**

**_Love and Thanks, Goddess Usa!_**


	6. Thoughts of Class

**6: Thoughts of Class**

It was true that Usag – I mean, Serena liked putting her guys off, but this truly took the cake. Her whole day had been spent flirting and teasing her teacher, leaving him flustered and confused. Serena was silently exulting; _This is just so much fun! I'm so evil!_

Her friends had seen what Serena was doing, sending her notes and smirking at the teacher over their books. It was hilarious, really, that a teacher, who had just come back from America no less, was being flustered by a 16 year old girl.

_I can't wait for this day to be over!_ Mamoru thought desperately, glancing at his watch for the 5th time in a minute. _Could this day go any slower!_ Mamoru had been sitting behind his desk practically all day, the reason? He'd had a raging hard-on ever since Serena had walked in the door, _This is so unfair! _

The bell rang, _Well, FINALLY! _Mamoru thought, quickly calling out homework; _Just don't let her come near me! _

Finally Serena stood, pushing her chair back in; she walked past him on her way out the door, giving him a flirtatious glance, flaunting her mini-skirt just a little (oh, alright, a lot), leaving Mamoru's eyes fixed on the spot where she'd last been.

He finally remembered that it was time to go home, and began packing up his things, then slowly began hitting himself over the head with a maths textbook.

When Mamoru had finally recovered his sense, and had put the book away, he stood and left the classroom, locking the door behind him. The tall man had left the school and walked through Juuban Park, towards the Crown Arcade. He'd promised to meet Motoki again, since it had been soon long (1 and a half years in fact) since they had seen each other.

* * *

Serena was being walked home by Yuki and Hikaru, the three of them were gossiping about their teacher and his obvious like of Serena.

"I mean, seriously Sere! Did you see the way he was staring at your chest? God, he couldn't've been more obvious!" Yuki exclaimed.

"Totally Sere, he was practically undressing you with his eyes!" Hikaru chimed in.

Serena snorted, like he hadn't already undressed her properly! "Honestly, Yuki! He's cute, but so totally not my type." _You just keep telling yourself that sweetie!_ Said the little voice inside her head, _You just keep telling yourself that…_

* * *

Mamoru made his way to the Crown as he had many times in the days before his departure for America, his feet remembering each direction and the distance to the arcade. He had missed his friend the other night, when he was supposed to meet him at the nightclub, but unfortunately for Motoki, Serena had spirited him away.

The mechanised doors opened, showing his friend behind the counter: "Hey Mamoru! Long time no see! How was America? Hook up with any hotties? Got the numbers of a few for me?"

Mamoru laughed, same old Motoki, some things never change. Mamoru quickly made his way inside, giving his old friend a man hug (a/n: you know the type right? Usually very awkward..). "I've missed you Motoki, at least this place hasn't changed though, it seems everything else has!"

Yeah, everything had changed, including a certain 16 year old who had gone from the sweetest girl alive, to a complete skank; and that wasn't changing anytime soon.

* * *

**_Hey, yes yes, short chapter, don't i know it! Oh the winner of many many cookies is.. drumroll please .. Tenshi Bunny! Thank you everyone for reviewing and guessing.. you were all right:P Just a little hint.. Usagi may (and i said MAY) drop by the crown while Mamorus there hint hint!_**

**_review? please? angelic face Thanks everyone for the reviews though.. this one appears to be peoples favourite of my stories.. YAY.. thats so great.. coz its so much fun to write:D_**

**_Love Goddess!_**


	7. The Arcade and Alter Egos

**7: The Arcade and Alter Egos **

Serena walked along the main road, mimicking the route she used to take to the Crown Arcade a year ago. It was an unconscious movement, one of habit, one of which Serena didn't even notice until she walked into the arcade. Her features showed surprise at where she was, somewhere she hadn't been in a year and a half. All because of one man.

Serena's azure eyes centred on the man in front of the bar, _Darien; _who was, interestingly, speaking to Motoki. Her eyes narrowed, there was something familiar about him, now that she saw him in this environment, talking to Motoki. _I never knew they were friends, but something.. he reminds me of someone, so why can't I think of who?_ Serena had half a mind to hit her head against a brick wall until she remembered, but like that was ever going to happen.

"Motoki! Hey!" she called, adding brightness into her voice, "How are you?"

"Serena! Hey babe! I'm great, have you met M – " Motoki's voice cut off with a look from Darien, "I mean, have you met Darien?"

"Hi Darien, yeah we've met, haven't we Darien?" Serena gave him a sidelong glance, "He's my teacher this year." Internally Serena was smirking; _let's see him get out of this one._

"Darien aren't you the one who went off with Serena that night at the club, when we were supposed to meet?" Motoki asked, hiding an evil undertone.

Darien gulped, "Uh-yeah.. that's right. Sorry about that Motoki, your little friend here can be quite persuasive when she wants to be."

Serena realised that she was late for meeting Yuki and Hikaru, _Gods I haven't been late like this in years! Its almost like.. no that's crazy! Its almost like this Darien is making me late.. no way. _"Gotta book it guys, I'm late for some shopping. I'll see you later Motoki?"

Motoki grinned, it was a Monday night, time for one of their famous get togethers, "Yeah Sere, see ya at the usual time."

Serena grinned, "Yeah alright, see ya then." She walked out, looking back quickly as she left the building, _There's something familiar about that Darien, but I have no idea what it is!_

Mamoru was having similar thoughts, _Its like I know her from somewhere, its like.. I don't know. She could be Usagi for all I know… USAGI! No, no way. There is no fucking way that's Usagi._

_Sure there is Mamoru, _replied the little voice in his head, _I mean think about it, the blue eyes, the hair, the amazing figure. Just imagine the Usagi you used to know in the clothes you've seen Serena in, and tell that isn't her._

"Shit.." Mamoru murmured, "It is her…"

Motoki grinned at his friend, "Finally figured out who she is, haven't you. Took you bloody long enough!"

"No way, Motoki! There is no fucking way that's her!" Mamoru protested.

"Yes way, Mamoru my man, that's her alright, and guess what, that little change is all because of you. Well it appears that way anyway, she started looking like that the day after you left."

* * *

_Flash back:_

_Usagi had walked past the Crown Arcade, her hair shorter, her clothes more revealing; this was not Usagi, well not the Usagi they had known._

_Rei and Mako had noticed, and walked outside to see what was up with her, but the blonde had completely blown them off._

"_I'm not one of you anymore! I don't know that I ever was. Now LEAVE ME ALONE!" She had yelled when the girls kept pestering her, "I was never your friend, and you were never mine. Go get some other girl to bully, 'cause I'm done with it."_

_End flashback_

* * *

"Well Mamoru, why don't you come to my place tonight, at 7. You'll see how much she's change." Motoki offered, "And maybe, just maybe, you'll realise how much you like her."

Mamoru nodded absentmindedly, "sounds good... See you there…"

* * *

**_Hey Guys! Look! Update within 2 weeks! How much do i rock! _**

**_Review replies will now be posted on my homepage here okiedokie? And feel free to tell me what you think of this new development!_**

**_Hope you enjoyed  
_****_Love  
Goddess Usa_**


	8. Getting Ready

!&!&!&!

**Chapter 8: Getting Ready**

Serena was exhausted from that days shopping, man did Karu know how to shop! Serena lay on her bed, not wanting to move. These days the bedspread was black, with small threads of silver, and dark blue, fitting in with the dark blue of her walls. Her lamp matched the bed in its ebony wood and the bedspread with a black and silver shade.

Serena sat up and glanced at the clock, and groaned. It was 6:03, only 57 minutes til she had to be at Motoki's. Funnily enough, she didn't want to go there; was it something to do with Darien?

Serena lay back, staring at the cream ceiling, her thoughts now on Darien. Why was there something so familiar about him? Was it the hair, the face, the voice? They all contributed. So why couldn't she think of who it was that reminded her of him?

Serena groaned again, and sat up, her blonde hair covering her face. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up, no matter how she felt, she had an arrangement with Motoki, and she had promised she'd be there…

* * *

It was 6:15, Mamoru was dressed casually, in a pair of jeans and black top. Oddly enough he'd found the green jacket Ser- Usagi, couldn't stand. He found it hilarious that just as he realised who she was, he'd found the one thing that would tip her off that it was him.

_She hates you, you know that right? _Mamoru's subconscious taunted, _If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't be the person she is now… she'd still be the cute, adorable Usagi you loved, not this – this skank. You made her this, deal with it and FIX IT fool!_

Mamoru sighed, it was his fault, if only she hadn't changed. He really had loved her as the sweet, adorable girl-child but… well things weren't to be were they? But he was being given a second chance and god's be damned he was going to take it!

* * *

Now it was 6:29, Motoki was running around his apartment, fixing things up for Serena and Mamoru. He cackled evilly, now it was time for Plan B to come together. They were going to be locked inside his apartment with a romantic dinner for two, while Motoki went out on the town. It was time they realised they were perfect for each other, and it was time Serena became the person she was meant to be all along.

Could it be that Motoki had grown up?

* * *

Darien rang the bell at 6:50, asking to be let up. Motoki allowed him in, grinning evilly as he waited, this was going to be great.. Muahahahaaha! (yes, that was Motoki cackling). Darien was anxious, he had no idea why Motoki wanted him here, not really, sure he knew Usagi was going to be there, but he didn't trust his best friend when it came to things like this. Motoki had a bad track record when it came to Mamoru and girls. Mamoru sighed, and knocked on the apartment door, it opened slowly.

* * *

Serena was running late, for the first time in almost a year, in fact. It was already 7:08 and she was only halfway to Motoki's. Serena swore and ran faster, _God its been years since I've had to do this! In fact, I haven't had to do this since that horrible prick, Mamoru, left! _She took a deep breath and fastened her pace, _I am So out of shape!_

* * *

Motoki grumbled, _Where the hell is she? She was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago! God.._

* * *

Serena sighed in relief, there was the apartment block. She rounded the corner, past some bushes.

She screamed.

* * *

**_Hey all! heheheeh cliffy! look! I updated! All review replies are on my homepage! Thank you all! Now tell me what you think so i can get the required 3 more reviews so this is officially better than my other story! grins i hope you liked! I know i loved writing it!_**

**_Love Goddess_**


	9. Comforting Presence

**9: Comforting Presence**

Motoki had been pacing the apartment (_she's late! She's never late!)_, when he had heard the female scream. It had taken all of a millisecond for him to glance and Mamoru, fling open the door, and run down the fire stairs, with Mamoru hot on his heals. _That scream, it sounded like… Serena!_ His panicked thoughts were echoed by Mamoru, as they followed the direction of the scream.

* * *

Serena screamed, paused, and screamed again, it was terrible. The sight was unbelievably horrific and scary, so incredibly cliché that Serena had always assumed she was safe from such a thing. Her mind was wiped blank, her eyes focused on the man in front of her. He had jumped from the bushes, which had been more than a little strange, but then he'd pulled a gun out of his pants. This was not right! 

That was when she had screamed, not because the gun was pointed at her, but because the gun had been fired at someone in front of her, Rei. Someone who had once meant so much to her, was now lying on the ground with blood seeping out of a hidden wound.

The man turned around, his faced was shrouded in darkness from the bushes, but the gun was still out, now pointed at her. "Stay quiet girly, or you'll be next." There was a flash of white within the dark face, teeth, a ghoulish smile. Then he disappeared, to god-knows-where, like the ghoul he was.

Serena fell to her knees, reaching out to touch Rei, she was so close, yet so far away.. She was the part of Serena's old life, of Usagi's life, and no matter how much she now despised that part of her life, Serena couldn't let her die.

* * *

The two men ran out of the stair well, and across the apartment yard. They turned a corner, the way Serena was supposed to have come. Mamoru took the lead, starting to turn the next corner, he saw Serena kneeling in front of someone. It was a girl, lying on the pavement, not moving. 

The girl was vaguely familiar to Mamoru, though he could not place the face.

"Gods, Rei!" Motoki breathed beside him, having finally caught up.

Mamoru's eyes boggled, he had expected more change from the girl he had been rather close to a few years ago, but she looked no different… well, aside from the spreading red stain on her abdomen.

* * *

The ambulance came and went, leaving Serena still kneeling where Rei had been, staring at the blood spattered on the pavement. The paramedics had said she was in shock, and that she needed to be taken back to the apartment to be warmed up and comforted. Mamoru had held his tongue during this; he _was_ a doctor after all! 

But this wasn't about him, nor was it really about Rei. Really, this was all about Sere- Usagi. And he was steadily realising that it was possible that her change was because of him, although he needed more proof on that.

* * *

They took Serena back to the apartment; Mamoru almost had to carry the shocked girl. Motoki made some excuse (Mamoru wasn't really sure what, he had only been paying attention to Serena) when they reached the apartment, and walked away, leaving the two of them on the couch together. 

The blonde girl had sat heavily, but now was sitting straight up, staring at some unknown place on the wall. Mamoru made a small noise, trying to get her to relax, trying to get her to do something. His arms moved erratically, trying to decide if he should pull her back into his chest.

Eventually his need to protect the girl won over the part of his mind telling him it was a bad idea. But that was the side of his head that had told him to push Usagi away before he had left.

Mamoru's arms snaked out from him body, drawing the girl close. She shuddered, it was everything she had tried to protect herself from, but it was also exactly what she needed. Suddenly she began sobbing, her breath coming in gasps in between sobs; tears ran freely down her face which she promptly buried in Mamoru's chest.

She hurt. She hurt so badly. And Darien seemed to understand her pain, holding her tightly long after the tears had subsided.

* * *

**_Hey all.. Im so so very sorry about the delay.. i hope you werent wishing for this too hard.. but im happy, i think i did very well with this chapter, even after getting stuck on the bit with Rei.. so tell me if you think im right, or even if im wrong.. just feel free to tell me laughs umm review replies are on my author page.. i love you all! thanks so much!_**

**_xx Goddess Usa_**


	10. Comfort

**10: Comfort**

It took Mamoru a moment to realise the girl was almost asleep; half of him wanted to let her go to sleep, but the other half knew that they had to talk. That half also knew that if she slept, all she would dream of was Rei.

Usagi turned and looked up at him, her blue eyes wide, Mamoru returned the gaze; he had the biggest urge to apologise, though for what, he had no idea. It was funny, even though her clothes were still skanky, the look on her face was the old Usagi, not this new one. Well maybe not funny, considering the fact that Rei was in hospital and had been shot, but it was interesting, to say the least. Mamoru felt a pang, he was deceiving this girl, she probably still thought he was Darien; _Gods, what a mess, how did this happen? _Mamoru frowned; he knew exactly how it had happened: he had pushed Usagi away and that had probably caused her massive change in personality.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked quietly, realising her gaze still rested upon his face.

She shook her head, "No, it's just that you remind me of someone I knew a long time ago. And I don't really want you to move…" her voice was croaky because of her crying; she sniffed, a few tears leaking out of her eyes as she remembered Rei lying on the pavement, not moving.

Mamoru's arms tightened around the girl even more, if that was possible, and suddenly she was glad to have this half stranger here. She thought this moment would be awkward, when she finally finished sobbing, but it wasn't, it was the most natural thing in the world, and she had no idea why.

"I-It-It's my fault, if I hadn't.. oh god's if I'd just been there…why did I ever.." Her words were cut off by her own sobs, as they started afresh. Darien just held her until she had herself under control again, then he spoke.

"It's been a tough night, I know, poor Rei…" His voice died away as Usagi's blue eyes shot him a piercing glance.

"How did you know her name?" Usagi demanded, she would have sat up, but his arms were too tight around her. What had been a comforting embrace only seconds before had turned to a set of confining chains.

Inwardly, Mamoru gulped, this was not how he planned for her to find out who he was, in fact, it was the worst possible scenario. "I met her a while ago, we had some mutual friends," He kept his voice neutral, trying to sound as if he had only met her a few times.

Usagi's eyes narrowed, her mouth pursed, "When?" she asked viciously.

"I don't really remember, about 6 months ago maybe," He knew she wouldn't be able to refute this, because he knew they hadn't been friends the past year and a half. She softened, as he thought she might, relaxing once more into his arms. Mamoru let out an inward sigh of relief, disaster averted for now.

Usagi resettled herself, putting her head in his lap now, instead of leaning against his chest; and soon her breath evened out and it was obvious the traumatised girl had fallen asleep.

Mamoru let out a deep breath; he had averted that only just… He had no idea what was going to happen when she finally found out, but he was sure it would be scary. Mamoru's deep blue eyes sought out Usagi's face, hidden in his lap; she was deeply asleep enough for him to move her to Motoki's guest room bed.

It was weird, no matter how long he'd been away, he still knew his way around; Mamoru felt like he was fitting back into his old life. I mean, here Usagi was, head in his lap (well maybe that hadn't happened in his old life, but it was damn well making this one better), and he was realising how much he'd missed everything about her.. _Stop that! _Called the idiotic part of his brain (also the part of his brain that had forced him to push Usagi away, when it got too scared of his body's feelings), _What do you think you're – No. _The sane part of his brain finally chimed in, _I'm happy and you're not going to stop me._ And with that, the horrible little voice was silenced,

Mamoru was pleased with himself, finally! That voice had been tormenting him since a few weeks before he left, ultimately causing his decision to leave. He felt like pulling an Usagi-like face at the voice; which reminded him that he had been standing next to the bed for the last minute. Now for a new argument inside his head: to lie down next to her, or not? The vulnerable girl made a faint cry in her sleep, and that made up his mind. Mamoru lay down and took her in his arms once more, soothing her into nicer dreams; he was soon asleep himself.

* * *

Usagi woke first, when she accidentally moved her body the wrong way; it had taken her a moment to realise what she was doing in Darien's arms, and to remember the previous night. Usagi was content to stay where she was until further notice, or until Darien woke up and moved away from her. This was odd for Usagi; usually she would leave straight after doing anything in a bed, but not today.

The blonde girl felt odd, the past few days had almost sent her back to her previous self; in fact, she had a craving for longer skirts and hair. She wanted to tone down her clothes, her makeup; in fact, she just wanted to be herself again. Maybe if she'd been herself Rei would have been okay, maybe… No, Usagi reined in her thoughts; this could only lead to bad things. _What's worse than being the cause of your friend's injury and near death? She's not my friend! She's not anything to me anymore! … But she used to be something to you, and that's not going to go away… _

* * *

**_Hey guys, look! New chapter! And i'm finally getting into the fluffy stuff! YAY! However, i doubt the next chapter will be so nice... you'll see anyways.. I'm going to put review replies on my homepage in a few days.. i'm just too tired and lazy to do them now, but know that i completely appreciate all responses!_**

**_xx Usa_**


	11. Realisation

**11: Realisation**

Mamoru awoke slowly, the bright light streaming in from the open curtains hurting his eyes something terrible when they fully opened. However, he was much too content to stay where he was, to move even an inch. His arms were still possessively wrapped around Usagi's waist, her blonde hair falling in between their heads. Usagi turned, snuggling further into Mamoru's embrace, pretending to be asleep, but in honesty, she just didn't want this morning to end.

"You know, we're going to have to get up sometime," Mamoru commented, his voice rough from sleep, "No matter how much we want to stay closeted up like this."

Usagi only mumbled, pushing her head further into Mamoru's chest, "Don't wanna…" Mamoru had to smile; now there was the Usagi who hated mornings and he… _loved? Was that what you were really thinking, boy? Because that would be… ridiculous? Insane? **And talking to myself isn't… hah**. _The dark haired male took a deep breathe, _I can't love her… I can't. I mean, I could like her, but I can't love her, can I? She doesn't even know who I am! **Do you want to be any more delusional!** **So, that leaves only one option, tell her who you are.. **What and ruin the moment? Knowing that the instant you tell her, she'll scream, and cry and run away, uh-uh, not happening. **Well it has to be done sometime!** Too soon, too good a moment! **Fine, but promise yourself it'll be today. **Fine. _

Mamoru had to sigh, what he had to do was not going to turn out well, he knew it; why, oh, why, had he chosen to say 'goodbye' in the way he had? He couldn't even remember what his true reasoning was, it was something about wanting to get her out of his thoughts. _But even that didn't work properly. I spent a whole fucking year and a half just thinking about the girl I left behind... It's my fault she's this way… What the hell was I thinking! **About her, obviously. **Shut up you. Let me live my own life._

* * *

_I feel so vulnerable, _Usagi thought disconsolately, _The last time I felt so vulnerable was when Mamoru was around, with his constant, incessant tormenting. I thought this feeling was banished, but it seems as though it was only hidden beneath layers and layers of my attempted strength.  
_

Usagi pulled herself closer, groaning against the cruel intrusion of Darien's voice, "Don't wanna..." She almost sniffed, feeling close to tears, _What's got me so unhappy all of a sudden? Its like… like something's back in me that hasn't been here for a very, very long time. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing…_

There was a long silence, both happy to hold, and be held, for the longest period of time they could get away with. "Do you want to go visit Rei?" Darien asked, "I'm sure she'd be happy to see you…"

Usagi's head snapped back, her blue eyes staring into his, "What on Earth makes you think that!"

"Well, considering the reaction you had to her being injured last night, I figured you know her, also the fact that you know her name." Darien paused, hoping this little snippet wouldn't get her to suspecting him, for knowing more than he should.

But Usagi's eyes never moved, they stayed affixed upon his own, "I've just seen her around, heard some of her friends calling out to her. And who wouldn't be upset at seeing someone shot, before their eyes?"

_Liar. _Mamoru thought, _You little liar. How the hell do you expect to get past this if you don't talk!_

_Thank god I've become such a good actress over the past year, I have no idea how I'd deal with this if I didn't know I could get away with this. _Usagi was almost relieved, but then a whisper came from Mamoru: "Liar."

"What did you call me?" Usagi was outraged, she pulled away and sat up, glaring angrily.

"Liar." Mamoru made no move to elaborate upon this statement. Usagi could only stare at the dark haired man, unable to talk. There was a tense silence, broken only by a change of position by Mamoru.

"You know Rei, because she was once your best friend; one of your four best friends, although, secretly, you were closer to her than you were the others." Usagi bristled, her inability to talk almost broken, almost shattered.

Usagi came to herself, "How the Fuck do you know that! There's only one person, aside from Motoki, who knows that, and he's not even in this damned country."

There was another silence, "Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?"

"Him not being in the country."

There was another staring contest, then Usagi's eyes suddenly dropped, looking closer at the rest of 'Darien's' face.

"You." She breathed, "YOU!" Usagi's faced turned red, her voice cracking with anger, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

* * *

**_Hey, alright, now I know you're all moaning at the shortness of this chapter, but I couldn't think of a way to make it longer without making it cliche and ridiculous.. so there will be more soon, and hopefully it will be longer and better. So please, feel free to whinge about it being short, because i totally agree :P Hows about some review responses eh?_**

**_CharmedSerenity3 - _**There will be conflict, as there always is with these two, but it'll resolve :)  
**_Shortie630 - _**Thanks so much :)  
**_Shan - _**Of course they'll be together! Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this!  
**_Koldy - _**Shanka! You're such a consistent reviewer!  
**_Tenshi Bunny -_**I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you liked!  
**_Secretguest - _**hehehe she knows now!  
**_FSl - _**More? What more could you want than 3 chapters in a week! laughs  
**_Rockergirl1991 - _**:D thank you  
**_ffmooniegirl - _**laughs Yeah, I barely remember! laughs Sorry its been so long!  
**_ladytokyo - _**Oh it'll all work out! It has to!  
**_starfairy14s - _**Candy mount everest! Do I get that now! laughs I guess I don't, considering this took so long!  
**_artemis366 - _**Yeah, we're getting back to the angst riiight about now! Thanks!  
**_RoxyBunny - _**:P I hope you enjoyed Mamoru waking up! Thanks :P  
**_Megan Conseor - _**I can indeed write more chapters, now that I have more time! Thanks :P  
**_SailorSerena 141 - _**Sorry it took so long, I hope it was worth the wait!

**_xx Usa! love you all!_**


	12. Why?

**_12 - Why?_**

* * *

"_You." She breathed, "YOU!" Usagi's faced turned red, her voice cracking with anger, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"_ _

* * *

_

Usagi scrambled away from Mamoru, shocked at this revelation.

"You knew who I was, this whole time! Didn't you! You absolute bastard! You knew how I felt about you, and you still went ahead and did this. I can't believe you."

"And to think, I'd actually begun to trust you." Her voice was laced with poison, it burnt into him, reminding him of how wrong he had been.

Usagi turned away from him, ready at any instant to walk out that door and away from him, she would have done it already, but something was holding her back. She needed another reason to leave, after all, hadn't she basically done the same thing to him?

Usagi took a breath and continued, "In the club? You knew in the club? What was this? Some kind of joke? Bag the girl who's heart you broke... get in her pants anyway? Is this funny to you? Earn her trust and break her all over again? Is that it?"

But she didn't wait for him to reply, "I can't believe you. The nerve. The fucking nerve of you."

"It wasn't like that Usagi, it wasn't, I swear." Mamoru defended himself, but she cut him off before he was able to continue.

"Then what the fuck was it like then? Because I just don't see any other possibilities."

Mamoru put a hand to his head, so frustrated by this situation, without realizing his other hand reached out and slammed against the wall.

"Would you listen to me for just one fucking second? Give me a chance to explain? Bloody hell, Usagi."

Usagi looked up at him, her blue eyes wide, "Go on then," she said, when he hesitated, "What do you have to redeem yourself of this? What possible reason can you have?"

Mamoru tensed, surely it was too soon for this conversation, "And I didn't want what we've had to end. But I knew you'd freak. You'd react exactly like you are now. Like I did when I realized that you were not some random one night stand, that it was you. And I realized how much I need this. How much I want this.

"Bull. Shit." She swore at him, "Right, uh-huh, sure," the sarcasm dripping from her lips, "I totally believe you Mamoru. Then what reasoning do you have for breaking my heart the first time? What reason do you have for turning me into _this_."

"How was I supposed to know what you'd become? By the time you became the person you are right now, I was long gone, halfway to America. How on earth was I supposed to know? I can't see people or places that I'm not near, I don't have magical powers, Usagi. I'm a normal human being, just like you."

"Surely, you knew that your words would have consequences, Mamoru, surely you knew. How could something like that not change the person I was? I was naïve, innocent, pure. You killed that girl, Mamoru. You killed her."

"My words? What words?" He asked, confused.

"The last words you spoke to me before you left, surely you remember!" She was outraged.

"I don't understand, why would you do this? What can I have said that could have driven you to this?"

"You really have no clue. I don't believe it. Maybe I can refresh your memory; don't you remember telling me that there is no such thing as love? I'll quote you: _Love doesn't exist Usagi, you can dream and dream but all those dreams are never going to come true. Love doesn't exist._"

Mamoru gaped at the petite blonde, had he really said that to her? Surely he wasn't such an idiot to have said that to an innocent, fairytale-loving fourteen year old, surely not!

Usagi folded her arms over her chest, protecting herself subconsciously, "Speechless then, Mamoru?" she spat, glaring at him, "Got nothing to say? Hah! Mamoru Chiba, the man always with a comeback, has nothing to say!"

"I… I never meant to say anything like that. I swear that I didn't. I'm so sorry Usagi. I'm so, so sorry that I took that away from you." Mamoru looked forlorn, he remembered now.

Usagi snarled, "Taken something from me? Hah. Don't delude yourself. Now, that I think about it, this was probably inevitable. You just helped. Pushed me over the edge, if you'd like. I was so suppressed then, it was always going to happen, me breaking out."

"I doubt it. I really do. And it doesn't change the fact that I'm sorry."

"Why am I staying here? Listening to this? You betrayed me! Lied to me! Didn't even have the nerve to introduce yourself properly! You're just a pathological liar aren't you? So hell bent on destroying my confidence." Usagi walked to the door, turning her back on Mamoru, then turned a little, "I can't believe that I ever liked you, at all."

Then she was gone. And Mamoru knew he couldn't stop her, he had to let her go, at least for a time. If he went after her now, things would only get worse; the words thrown would only hurt more. Nothing would be solved.

* * *

Usagi flung herself out the door, chest heaving in repressed anger, her legs stomping down the stairs and out of the building. She stormed along the foot path, leaving many a perplexed person in her wake; she just wanted to scream in frustration, what the hell was going on! 

_That prick!_ She yelled inside her head, _That absolute prick! I can't believe him! Who does such a thing!_

Usagi found herself in an unfamiliar area, it seemed she had walked a fair way from Motoki's apartment.

_Great. Just great. What the hell am I going to do now!_

She stood there on the footpath, staring at the strange buildings, with an odd desire to break down and cry. Usagi sniffled a little bit, then found a little more resolve; beginning to retrace her steps she soon found herself in semi-familiar territory. The blonde took a deep breath, and started walking home, just wanting to curl up in her nice warm bed and forget the last few days had ever happened. _Maybe even the last few years.._

* * *

**_See my homepage for reasons why this took so long.._**


	13. Killing The Warmth

**Chapter 13 - Killing the warmth with more ice cold indifference**  
Usagi lay, curled up in her bed, replaying that day over and over in her head, the possibilities came up with every scenario – _But, what if?__What if I'd been able to help Rei?What if I hadn't recognised him?What if..? Oh, god, I don't know how I would've changed this day, so many things.. So, so many things went wrong.__I just wish things hadn't turned out that way, why did he have to be Mamoru? Why couldn't he be someone I didn't care about, someone who would never impact upon my life? Why did he have to be the guy I once thought was 'the One'?_

She lay there, contemplating, curled up within her doona, warm in so many respects, but cold in so many others; thoughts about Rei left her feeling cold all over, so cold inside, but she was warm, because for the first time in months, Usagi could feel something. She had suppressed those feelings for so long that she had become ice inside, any thought which may have had feelings attached had been discarded.

But now she felt, she felt so much that it hurt, all the pain which she had kept locked away was coming back to bite her in the arse, metaphorically speaking of course. This couldn't go on, the pain was much too much, she had to numb it, kill it the way she had before, through the things once expected of her. The clubbing, the one night stands, sometimes even the drugs, but especially the superficial friends; it seemed nothing had changed, or rather, by the end of this, nothing would have.

Usagi dragged herself out of the warm covers, pushing them away for use at another time, walking across the room and flinging open her closet, pulling out her skankiest outfit, the one which left nothing to the imagination, one which featured in more than one male wet dream. Pulling out her cell phone, she dialled Karu's number, quickly telling her to get Motoki, Yuki and to meet her outside within the half hour. Her sycophant agreed, obviously, and it was as though nothing had ever changed.It didn't take long for Motoki, Yuki and Karu to appear, as usual in Motoki's car, the look he gave her, however, was one of confusion, and he appeared to want to ask her a question.

Usagi brushed it off, jumping into the front seat, telling him to go to their usual club, Moonlight, she needed something new, or rather, someone new.And so the cycle started all over again, Usagi found herself on the dance floor once more, killing the warmth with more ice cold indifference; she went home with them, had sex, woke up next to them, and went home, lying to her parents again.

She woke up each morning and it hurt a little less, the pain a bit more dull, the cold slowly infiltrating each warm part of her soul, the death reaching further and further into her heart. Some day soon the warmth would be gone, and then, then things would be okay, and this would never have happened. Nothing ever changed and she could pretend that's how it really was.

* * *

Mamoru slammed his fist into the wall, over and over again, he'd let her get away, again.

"ARGH! This isn't fair! Fuck Usagi, for fuck's sake! Why do you have to be like that!" But he knew, he knew the effect his words had on her, what sort of an idiot tells a 14 year old girl that there's no such thing as love? His sort of idiot.

Mamoru's rage calmed, but his mind would not, could not; his words kept echoing throughout his mind – _Love doesn't exist… never going to come true.. doesn't exist_.

What had he done?

* * *

Two days later found Mamoru, drunk off his face, in his apartment; the dark haired man had done this each night since she had left, but the alcohol did nothing to deaden the words within his mind. The days saw him act as normal, but the nights were always this way; one of these days the alcohol would stop the pain, and then he could forget what he had said, all of this would go away.But he couldn't forget, he had been so hard with such a young, innocent girl, and couldn't believe he had been so stupid. Of all the idiotic, stupid and harmful things he could have done, this was the worst.

Wasn't it bad enough that he had spent every day for six months tormenting the girl about everything from her hairstyle to her diet?

Mamoru smirked darkly at himself in a mirror, "You know what they say Mamoru, hindsight is always 20/20."

* * *

Motoki was worried, to say the least; he didn't know what had happened between Usagi and Mamoru, but it was obviously very bad. They were both acting as if in a haze, their minds completely overtaken by an object. Usagi was clubbing again, finding men and going home with them, convincing Motoki to bring back their usual Wednesday meetings. Whereas Mamoru had taken to carrying a flask with him, wherever he went, never inebriated enough for most people to notice. Things were back to normal, but not the normal they had once known; something big had happened, and Motoki had to know want. 

Something was deadly wrong here.

* * *

Mamoru sat at home another night, staring up at the ceiling, only two drinks into his evening, when he decided this was getting boring, and wasn't doing him any good. There was one thought that appealed to him, clubbing. He hadn't been since the night he had picked Usagi up, and surely his charms had not been lost since then. The alcohol was doing nothing to end his painful regret, so surely his old lifestyle could help; there had been a day when the numerous women had acted like a drug, killing any bitterness and pain he felt.It seemed the only thing the alcohol had done was remove his ability to think.

* * *

Mamoru knew he probably shouldn't drive, but that didn't stop him; nothing impressed women better than a fast car, after all. He found himself at a club a few districts over, known as 'Rave', and began the cycle all over again. Out onto the dance floor where he found an eager brunette, only too happy to come home with him, he brought her into his bedroom, where he proceeded to release all his frustrations about Usagi, over and over again.

She was gone in the morning, the brunette, for which he was grateful, and she had taken some of the pain with her, for which he was even more appreciative.So, the next night, he did it again, this time with a red head, who left the next morning, satisfied by her one night stands ability to keep going at it. He found a little more of the anguish gone with her too.

The weeks following fell into this pattern, not only for him but for Usagi too, so it was surely inevitable that one day they would meet again, for this is how they had met the first time. Mamoru knew it was a possibility, but by now he was so consumed with forgetting her that he was afraid even considering that she might appear one day would bring back the pain.

It appeared Usagi wasn't the only one who needed rescuing now…

* * *

Moonlight, that fateful bar where they had met for the first time in a year and a half, the place which caused them to reignite their relationship, though in a totally different manner; the place which would once again play host to their affairs.Usagi found herself sitting at a table, a glass of Midori in front of her, half drunk; Karu and Yuki were out on the dance floor, finding appropriate man whores for their nightly adventures. Motoki hadn't appeared tonight, saying he needed to spend some time with a male friend; Usagi hadn't questioned it at the time, but she wondered if that man was Mamoru. 

_Nah, Motoki wouldn't. He knows how I feel about him._

A man appeared behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and whispering in her ear: "Hey baby, remember me? We had a bit of fun a few nights ago."

"I can't say that I do, maybe we can get… reacquainted?" Usagi teased, brushing her fingers over his arm.

The pain was almost gone these days, an almost distant reminder of days when things had been different. But her casual relationships with men fixed that, made it go away, almost. She found his mouth over hers, tongue exploring her lips and mouth roughly. Her hands ran up and down his back, touching and teasing, pulling and stroking. He pulled her tight to him, his hands reaching ever lower down her back. Usagi gasped as he nipped and kissed her neck, his hands reaching for areas she would rather were explored in private.

She pulled away flirtingly, "Now now, we can't have that.. here."

He grinned, and took her hand once more, leading her out of the bar and towards his apartment. They were only in the lift when he started again, hand reaching into her skirt."You can't… wait even a minute?" She managed to gasp out, pressed against the wall.

"No. I'll have you right here if I have to."Usagi shivered, something wasn't right about this situation, she hadn't felt like this with a man since, well since the unmentionable man. Her feelings were getting involved, but she didn't care, this felt good, too good to stop.They reached his floor and she once more found herself pressed up against a hard surface, this time his apartment door as he fumbled in his pocket for the keys.

It opened behind her and she found herself being led into his bedroom, yes the apartment did look somewhat familiar. Then Usagi was on the bed, her skirt and panties down around her ankles, his hand pushing into her, stroking and teasing. She gasped again, she hadn't felt like this in a long time. But she had no time to think, his mouth crushed into hers, bringing her into the waves of pleasure she once knew. He was gone, but only for a second, then he was inside her, fully this time, pumping as she screamed and moaned.

Then it was over, the wave upon wave of pleasure dying down, she relaxed, satisfied in body, but not in mind. Something wasn't right here. And it was him. Every time she turned around it was like he was there, but this time he actually was. She wanted to scream in frustration, but found herself too tired; her eyes drooped and she fell asleep, dreaming of those deep blue eyes.

* * *

**_Did I do good? The next chapter won't take nearly as long - I promise! I have ideas this time!_**

**_xx Usa_**


	14. The Necessity of a Bad Situation

14: The Necessity of a Bad Situation

Mamoru woke with a killer hangover, his head pounding, eyesight all blurry, and as a result he could only see that the girl lying next to him was a blonde. He moaned, his stomach rebelling as he sat up, immediately regretting that decision.

"What the hell did I do last night?" Mamoru murmured to himself, pulling the sheet off and stumbling as he attempted to stand up. He managed a few steps before he tripped over his own feet, sending him tumbling to the end of his bed. Lying there for a moment, Mamoru composed himself, pushing his heavy body off the mattress and back up onto his feet; or at least, that's what he thought he had done. It appeared he had only managed a few centimetres, and was now sitting on the floor, having slid off the edge of the bed.

"Ow," he muttered, leaning back against the frame of his bed, hands to his head, wishing that the monster inside his skull would go away. Mamoru pushed the dark hair off his face, steeling himself for another attempt at standing. This time he used the bed as a support, hands out reaching for the wall as he tried to make his over the few steps between the bed and the bathroom.

Mamoru reached the door frame, and looked back over at the sleeping blonde, thinking for the first time that maybe she wasn't the girl he believed he had brought home last night. He remembered seeing a girl who looked familiar, and propositioning her, he'd thought that they had been together a few nights previously. Now that he thought about it though, she wasn't _that_ blonde.

"Oh, shit."

It was Usagi, lying there in his bed, a grim reminder of what had gotten him into this mess in the first place. His head spun, and he found himself propped up against the door frame, Mamoru's mind was filled with so many conflicting thoughts. One part of him knew that last night had been good, nigh amazing, but another knew that it had been wrong, so wrong, for that to have been done with her.

This wasn't the Usagi he had wanted before, though she wasn't unwanted, she just wasn't the same. He had loved the innocent Usagi, in his own way, though he had never showed it, much. She had filled his mind in the year he had been gone, recollections of his life in Tokyo, just little hints of her, that happy smile, her cute little, ahem, school uniform.

A sudden urge to vomit pulled him out of his contemplation, leaving him with only one thought – how on earth was he going to get to the toilet in time, with his balance like it was? Mamoru found himself weaving across the bathroom, almost missing the toilet completely, before falling to his knees before it, emptying his stomach of that awful feeling.

When his retching had subsided, Mamoru flushed the toilet, put the seat down, turned and rested against it, the cool of the porcelain against his back. He put one hand to his head, rubbing his forehead a bit, before pushing back a stubborn piece of black hair. Mamoru raised his eyes to look up at the doorway and found Usagi standing there.

"How do we keep managing to get ourselves into this situation?" she asked, leaning against the frame, staring at him, her blue eyes dulled.

Mamoru spluttered a little bit, not expecting this to come so soon, Usagi soon realised he wasn't going to say anything and walked a few steps closer, reaching out a hand.

"Get up, I need to use the bathroom."

Mamoru groaned, using her hand and the toilet to leaver himself off the ground, he stumbled, grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste before walking into his bedroom. Usagi closed the door behind him, locking it, assuming that he had a bit of time, Mamoru went to his closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and a blue shirt, pulling them on. He walked to the kitchen, and proceeded to scrub the taste of bile from his mouth, removing the fuzzy feeling the alcohol had left.

By the time Usagi had left the bathroom, Mamoru had made two cups of coffee, and had locked the front door, just as a precaution of course. She walked in, dressed in the clothes she had been wearing last night, and Mamoru was struck by a sense of déjà vu, or rather a sense of dreaming. This was the scene he had expected from the very beginning of this twisted relationship, in truth only a few weeks ago. Something had changed though, he had expected her to yell and scream, like she had when she'd discovered who he really was, but she wasn't and hadn't – all she did was stare, her blue eyes gazing calmly at him.

Mamoru was confused, he really had thought she would try to get away as fast as she could, but she had shown no sign of that. Neither of them moved, their blue eyes locked together, daring the other to make the first move.

"You hurt me." Usagi said flatly, looking straight into his eyes, "You hurt me, so much. Do you even know what you did? Did you know, did you even care? I know you remember saying those things, so very seriously, but did you know their effect? Did you know, God, did you know anything? Why didn't you think, Mamoru? Why couldn't you see the effect you were having on a 14 year old?" Usagi paused, and took a deep breath:

"You should have known."

Mamoru was stunned, he really was, but all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms, tell her that he hadn't meant it, that he hadn't known. But that would be admitting fault, and he couldn't do that, he wasn't that sort of person. He watched, emotionless, as she fell to the floor, crying, sobbing out all her grief for her lost person.

"How is it you bring this part of me back?" she said through her tears, wanting so bad to be angry at him, and failing so miserably. Mamoru watched helplessly, knowing that if he didn't go to her now, he would lose her, probably forever; he closed his eyes, thinking deeply, but finally making the right decision. He walked over, and picked her up off the ground, a mirror image of that fateful night with Rei, carrying her to his couch and sitting down, cradling her in his arms.

Usagi couldn't respond to this gesture of kindness, for she couldn't stop crying into his shoulder, trying to release the awful feelings which had plagued her for so long. Mamoru leant back into the couch, and just held her, soothing her as much as possible, waiting for her to calm down. She wept, mourning for her lost childhood, feeling as though her heart had been destroyed these past months, and now, putting it back together, hurt so much.

Soon, her tears faded to hiccoughs and childish sniffles, and she drew comfort from the fact that for once in her life, someone was there to hold her while she fell to pieces, and attempted to glue it back into place.

Mamoru felt guilty, awful heart wrenchingly guilty, like his whole being was created by guilt; he regretted his past decisions, his callous actions, his stupid words. And all he could do to fix it was hold her, whisper quiet words, and hope that with time his beautiful Usako would come back.

**_-------_**

**__**

**_I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so sorry! Please believe me!_**


	15. Comprehension

**Chapter 15 - Comprehension**

Mamoru woke with a start, realising they had both fallen asleep while he had been comforting her fears. She was still asleep, curled up tightly in his arms, as though she was trying to take all the comfort that she could from him. He smiled sadly at her relaxed form, knowing it was probably the safest she had felt in a very long time.

"I'm sorry, Usako," he said, running his hand through her hair in a soothing motion, "I'm sorrier than you'll ever know." Her only reply was a small _mmmph_ noise, as she curled up tighter into him, Mamoru smiled sadly, leaning back into the couch, closing his eyes, and falling asleep once more.

* * *

When he awoke the second time, he found Usagi was no longer asleep, nor was she anywhere on the couch or in the living room. His eyes searched frantically around the room, but he didn't see her til he stood and found her standing in his kitchen, looking around, confused, as if she couldn't find something.

"Usagi?" he asked, standing up, running his hand through his hear and over his face, before walking to the kitchen door and leaning against it, "What'cha doing?" Mamoru queried, smiling as she looked at him, glancing then frantically looking away.

"I'm looking for your chocolate stash; I know it's around here somewhere. I wanted to make you something to show you… show you how I felt about you helping me earlier." Usagi said, opening a cupboard door and rummaging around inside, before sighing and flopping onto the ground. "But I can't find it, so I can't make the chocolate fudge cookies I wanted too." Usagi pouted and Mamoru grinned at the childish look on her face, this was the Usagi he remembered. He stepped into the room and reached up, above the fridge, for a cupboard she never could have reached, not at her tiny height of just 4 feet and 11 inches. His hand searched around inside until he found his quarry, a container which held, not only eating chocolate, but cooking chocolate also. Mamoru placed it on the floor in front of her, and watched as her face lit up in delight.

"Yes! Now I can make them!" She grinned, standing up and putting the container on the bench top, then turning to look at him, "Um, where do you keep your flour and pans?" Mamoru chuckled, and helped her retrieve all the tools and ingredients she would need, before being forced out of the kitchen by the pushy blonde.

"You're not to come in here until after I'm done, and you've eaten all of these cookies." She stated, closing the door on him.

"All of them?" He asked through the door, "how many are you planning on making?"

"You'll see, now go watch TV."

* * *

Mamoru sat impatiently on the couch, unable to find anything worth watching, and itching curiously about the happenings in his kitchen. "Usaaaagiiiii," he whined, "Come on, quit making me wait, you know I'm impatient."

His only answer was a small giggle.

* * *

An hour later, Usagi emerged from the kitchen, carrying what smelt like the most divine cookies ever baked. She smiled softly and placed them on the table in front of him, then withdrew a small distance.

"I – I just wanted to thank you, and I think that my baking shows my appreciation. So, I'll just … go then. Goodbye Mamoru." Usagi picked up the bag that she had thrown sometime during their entrance to the apartment last night, and moved towards the door, frowning when she found it locked.

"Let me out." Usagi said without turning, finding herself moderately angry at the fact she couldn't leave.

"Are you going to go see Rei?" Mamoru asked through a mouthful of cookie, feeling his body turn cold as he saw her pause, her hand outstretched to the door. "Usagi, I didn't mean…"

She turned her head to look at him, "No, its okay." Usagi gave a sad smile to show him that it was okay, "But I can hardly go see her if the door's locked like this!"

Mamoru stood, knowing fully well that she wasn't going to go and see her ex-friend yet, the wounds were still too raw from his own betrayal, but he knew that someday soon, after everything was worked out between them, she would go and try and rekindle her relationship with the girls who had once meant everything to her. He picked up the keys to the door from the table in the entrance hall and slotted them into lock, turning them and opening the door for her.

Usagi took one step before finding an arm around her waist, holding her back, "I know you need time, but please, don't take too much." Mamoru told her, before leaning in and kissing her softly, "I'll be here when you're done."

* * *

_hey guys, so... I'm thinking. Well I think a lot but thats not the point, the point is.. that I think that this is where this ends, because he's saved her, so.. its sequel time guys. And I know exactly what I'm doing with it. So tell me what you thought of this - because the more reviews I get, the more I write - its a proven fact guys._

_I love you all for your wonderful responses, so I can't wait to see what you think of the sequel._

_xx Usa_


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